


Very Random Hetalia Prompts

by serpent_and_wyrm



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Multi, Other, Randomness, Weirdness, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 02:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3340145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serpent_and_wyrm/pseuds/serpent_and_wyrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does this even need an explanation? Well, um, I wrote this with the same person who write "True Loves Unite," so if you like weird ships then you would definitely like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Very Random Hetalia Prompts

**Iggy turned into a Dorito.**

“Boy, I’m hungry,” America remarked one day.  
France, who was sitting next to him, laughed. “You’re always hungry,”  
“I know!” America said cheerfully. “Nothing wrong with that!”  
France sighed. “I beg to differ…”  
“Whatever!” America shuffled through a backpack at his feet. After a few seconds, he pulled out a bag of unnaturally orange chips.  
France looked disgusted. “What are those?”  
“Doritos,” the American replied, grinning widely. “Want one?”  
“No,”  
“More for me then!” He tore open the bag, stuffing Doritos into his mouth.

He didn’t realize it at the time, but he had just consumed the nation who had raised him. Americans really are stupid, aren’t they?

**Sweden realizes he’s in love with a penguin.**

Sweden stared at Iceland, who had begun to make out with the fridge. At first, the tall nation had had been completely willing to ship his fellow Nordic off to a mental hospital, but after years of romance, he had changed his mind. It was true love after all. Sweden sighed. Maybe it was about time he went into the world and found a good wife. Wiping a tear from his eye, he recalled the time when Finland had left him for Hantatamago, a day earlier.  
After getting bored of watching Iceland vigorously kiss the fridge’s door handle, Sweden quietly walked away and out the door.  
Then, he saw her.  
She was beautiful.  
She was stunning.  
She was barfing shrimp into her daughter’s mouth. Sweden had found his true love.

 

**America gets taken over by French bulldogs**

“FRANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  
“What is it?” France sniffed. “America, do you realize what time it is here…?”  
“No, I don’t!” America replied. “Anyway, there are these dog things that look like totally messed up English bulldogs running all over my house. You gotta help me, dude! I don’t know what to do!!!!!”  
France rolled his eyes. “Too bad,”  
“But…France…”  
“America, shut up. I’m trying to sleep. Figure this out yourself. It’s what you always do,”  
“I’ll call Iggy then!”  
“Good for you,” France sighed and hung up.  
How did that boy we found all those years ago turn into…that? He wondered.

 

**Finland loses Hanatamago**

“HANATAMAGOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Finland, tears pouring from his eyes, “WHERE ARE YOU?”  
There was no sound except the sobs of Hanatamago’s distressed owner.  
“Sweden, have you seen my little Bloody Flower Egg?” he asked, shaking Sweden’s shoulders.  
“No.” answered Sweden. He was hugging a penguin.  
Finland sighed and ran to the kitchen.  
“Iceland!” he shouted, “Have you seen Hanatamago?”  
Iceland said nothing. He was…  
Finland gasped and shut the door quickly. He would never look at a fridge the same way again.

 

**Austria thinks he’s a chicken.**

Hungary stared. “Um, Austria? Why are you wearing a chicken costume?”  
“Because I am a chicken,” Austria said solemnly.  
Hungary frowned. “Is this a dare from Prussia? I can hit him for you! He shouldn’t force you into that costume!”  
“Hungary,” Austria replied. “You don’t understand. I’m a chicken.”  
Hungary pulled out her cell phone. “What’s the number for the mental hospital again?”

 

**Latvia decides Poland is the supreme lord of all countries**

“Hey Lithuania,” said Russia one day, brandishing his pipe, “ have you seen Latvia anywhere?”  
“N-no…” replied Liet, “haven’t seen him.”  
Russia sighed, looking dramatically into the non-existent sunset.  
“Wait!” said Liet, “Actually, I think he said something about going to Poland’s house!”  
“Thank you,” replied Russia, walking towards the front door.  
The walk to Poland’s place wasn’t very long. Within a few minutes, he stood on the pink welcome mat, rapping on the door.  
“Hey Poland!” he called, “Let me in! Or I’ll use force!”  
No answer.  
Russia didn’t hesitate to break open the door. He stared in astonishment.  
There was Latvia, all right. He was, wait, what?  
“Ahhhh!” he shouted, dropping the plate of offerings he had been giving to Poland, “Protect me, great god of everything!”  
“Like, totally,” answered the great god of everything.

 

**A pig falls out of the sky and eats Prussia’s head**

“I AM SO AWESOME! EVERYBODY BOW DOWN AND SUBMIT TO MY AWESOMELY AWESOME AWESOMENESS!!” Prussia yelled, running in circles.  
“Umm… Prussia?” Austria asked, “Why are you standing on my piano?”  
“BECAUSE I AM AWESOME!!” Prussia yelled in reply.  
“Okay, have it your way and stand on my piano, but I’m warning you, I have a secret weapon and I will make you regret it…” Austria warned.  
“Who cares?” Prussia shouted. “Not me, cuz I’m AWESOME!!!!!!!!!”  
With that, Austria decided he had had enough. He pulled a secret lever and a hundred pigs fell from the sky. They began to eat everything in sight, including Prussia’s head.

 

**Elana finds out that America’s cheating on her with Iggy**

“I… Will… MURDER YOU!” Elana cried, gripping the doorframe until her knuckles turned white.  
England and America stared up from their dinner of fish, chips and burgers. On both of their faces was a look of surprise.  
“HOW COULD YOU, AMERICA?” the only female gasped, tears pouring down her cheeks, “YOU WERE MY BOYFRIEND!”  
The nations exchanged glances.  
“America,” said England, “who’s that?”  
America shrugged. “I have absolutely no clue,” he said honestly.

 

**Iceland finds this document and reads it**

Iceland wasn’t shocked. He knew that one day, in due time, someone would find out about how he felt about the fridge.  
He just wasn’t expecting this.  
The computer slipped from his hands, falling to the ground, the bottom part completely shattering. He attempted to read the document, but it was no use. The computer screen was completely covered in cracks.  
With a relieved sigh, he buried the computer somewhere in his room and vowed to never let anybody know.

 

**Neder-kun marries tofu**

Everyone has a match. Somewhere, out in this huge, unbelievably large world, the perfect person awaits your discovery. It could be man or woman, fridge or penguin.  
Deep in their hearts, everyone knows it. Why, then, do they have to be so cruel?  
Neder-kun hugged his wife to his chest and ignored the strange looks that were shot his way. He had found his partner. He was happy. Everyone else was just jealous.  
So Neder-kun lived on, caring for his beloved in any way he possibly could. And they were happy. Happy, that is, until his wife disappeared.  
And ended up in one of Japan’s soups a few days later.

 

**There’s a zombie a-taco-lypse and only Spain and his magic burrito powers can stop it**

The time had come. The time of the dreaded a-taco-lypse.  
Yes, a-taco-lypse. The sky was raining with tacos of all shapes and sizes. They appeared to be perfectly ordinary tacos, but Spain saw the malicious intent in their eyes. He knew they weren’t just some ordinary tacos.  
“The time has come,” he said. He didn’t want to do this. But he had to, for the good of his country, and perhaps the entire world.  
He sighed, and threw the burrito.  
Everything stopped. The tacos slowly fell to the ground, reverting back to their original forms of tortillas and tomatoes.  
“I did it!” he yelled. “I saved the country from the a-taco-lypse!”

 

**Sealand gets locked in a closet with Hanatamago**

“Well then,” sighed Sealand, “I guess we’re stuck in here.”  
“Woof,” said Hanatomago.  
“Do you have any idea how to get out?” asked Sealand.  
“Woof,” said Hanatomago.  
Sealand rattled the closet door, but it didn’t budge. Neither had it budged for the past five hours.  
“Woof,” said Hanatomago.  
“Why did they have to leave for vacation today of all days?” cried Sealand.  
“Woof,” said Hanatomago.  
Sealand tried the door one last time. Not a sound.  
“Woof,” said Hanatomago.  
“We’re screwed,” whispered Sealand, “any last words before we die of starvation?”  
“I am your father,” said Hanatomago.  
“I NEVER KNEW!” cried Sealand, squeezing his long lost dad until he suffocated.


End file.
